Law firms have today announced a global moratorium on all legal innovation projects in the wake of the on-going Post-it note shortage that is gripping the world. (Note: see below)
The news follows weeks of uncertainty over this year’s Post-it harvest, following a catastrophic outbreak of Postittello weevil that has blighted the Mexican sticky note industry, killing the trees they grow on and driving up prices to stratospheric levels for the few remaining innovation enabling squares of colourful paper.
Axel Springroll, a spokesperson for the Global Legal Innovation Alliance, told Artificial Lawyer: ‘It’s a tragedy, but after an emergency meeting over the weekend, the leading members of the Alliance decided there was no longer any point in trying to innovate.’
‘Without the ability to stick Post-its on walls and on white boards there is basically no point in continuing with the many innovation projects currently taking place. Moreover, all hackathons, design sprints and other events of this type will be cancelled until further notice,’ he added.
Artificial Lawyer asked: ‘But, isn’t it possible to cut out squares of paper, colour them in and then maybe use some sticky tape as an alternative? Surely ending all future legal innovation is a bit drastic?’
Springroll replied: ‘No. Without genuine Post-its (TM) there cannot be true innovation. It would just be a shadow of the real thing. No. It’s all over.’
Artificial Lawyer has been calling a variety of legal services businesses around the world about this and they have all confirmed this to be true.
What will become of the many innovation teams in a myriad of leading law firms remains to be seen, but one managing partner said: ‘It’s a very painful time. We have literally just hired an entire innovation team of excellent people. They were about to start later this week. Then we heard from Post-it – the terrible news – there would be no more deliveries of those lovely, bright little rectangles. It’s all over.’
So, basically, that’s it. Artificial Lawyer is not really sure what it will be writing about from now on, as there will be nothing to write about.
But, right now, that is of little importance. Today, 1st April, we must all stand in solidarity and simply pray that the Postittello weevil is one day vanquished and those bright little pieces of sticky paper once again flutter in the powerful breeze of legal tech innovation.
+++++ Thanks to everyone who read this one, looks like from all the comments and likes on social media that people found this April Fool’s story to be amusing. AL will keep it here for posterity. ++++